She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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