He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just had sex on a roof
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
