Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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