Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
