Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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