So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
