nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
