Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
