at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
They have beer where we have blood.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
