so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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