If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
