If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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