u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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