Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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