i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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