Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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