1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
