I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
