I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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