Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize