How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
