walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
