If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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