They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Operation Purity has been aborted
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
