Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
