matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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