she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
