I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
