We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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