Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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