Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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