she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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