i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
