I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I came so hard my ears popped.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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