one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
