just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
