so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
