I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Randomize
