We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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