my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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