last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
