I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Can I color on your dick again?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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