And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
