VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
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