Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
