He is an equal opportunity slut.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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