One girl and one boy is just not enough.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
