I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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