Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Randomize
