You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
