ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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