That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
someone owes me an orgasm
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
