it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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