I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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