I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
