Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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