why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
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