TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Randomize
