I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Randomize
