I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
We don't watch enough power rangers
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
