is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
