she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
