I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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