So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
